Hey my buddies!

I haven't been able to write at all this weekend, nor read, and it pisses me off but the sight of a computer screen made me wanna barf.

A friend came with a cold at work and I caught it, it fell on to my lungs and I sound like an old grama that'd been smoking all her life. Awesome. Breathing makes me caugh, caughing makes me not breathe.

Anyway, it's better than the flu, and hopefully i'll be back on my feet (somewhat) for the 24th. It's not even for Christmas because... blah. but it's because I take the train that day and I'd ratehr feel okay in it.

Anyway, i'm dizzy and too hot but I'm cold, and at work because I'm a good girl. I just wanted to say hi and, well, take a break for two secs.

Byes!

I'm freezing. Like... on the spot.

It's 19 degrees outside and I wonder how much inside but probably not much more.

We had to make a choice. Either we start the computers and work, or start the heating system. If we do both, the power cuts in the whole building. It's gonna be fun tonight when we need to turn the lights on.

I keep saving my work and I'm trying to type with my gloves. Not as funny as it sounds.

If it goes on after Christmas (which, logically, it should) IO'm going to ask if we can work from home. Objectively, we all work on line and communicate with Skype anyway...

How about you guys? How's life? Please distract me while I turn into a popcycle.

Damn! I've been thinking for two weeks that people didn't like me anymore and that my fav authors weren't updating... turns out, once again, that hotmail's moved lj_notify from the authorized senders to the blacklist. What the hell?

Oh, wait.

Was LJ trying to help me study for the GMAT? Cause that worked.

Yep. Finally.

I kciked it in the butt! 570!

Mayeb some of you have heard of better scores... but maths and me aren't friends so I think it's great.

Now, all I need is my GPA. Which the school won't gave me because they mess up the scores and shit and don't even know themselves. *sneers* If I can't get to the states because of them, I might get violent.

My boss bought a PHOTOSHOP licence online. So it means he DLed the software.

 

What's great and ironic about it, is that, he needed me and my skills to crack it still.

 

Why? Because Adob gives you the serials in a form that you can't read usually, so I had to crack a software to get the serials and install Photoshop legally.

 

Mean, twice the trouble, twice the time. Way more pricy.

 

Are they actually wondering why there are hackers in the world?

 Why do I have gay porn stuck in my head?

I mean... not that I mind, honestly... but mayeb I talk in my sleep sometimes, you know... or something, and it makes me weird to think about it because some might think it makes me a freak.

I might think that.

But, hey... last night... I dreamt of Alex and Zach making out... *thinks* Maybe it was Vampire Eric and Sylar, I don't know exactly... But my point is... okay, that was hot...

But still!! I'm not a guy having a gay crisis! *ducks an eyebrow at Jensen* Right?

And yeah... okay, on the gay/bi territory I'm pretty much settled because *AWWWW WINNN!!!* the dream ended with me sandwitched between Jensen A (as in Ackles if you're a noob, or just Fuckin' A otherwise) and Lauren Cohan. *drools* 
It seems that the lack of living with my bf has my brain in compensation overdrive. Awesome!

Speaking of... I'm moving in monday!

*Disolves in tears* I got invited!!!
*head desk*
And yeah... living in Paris...

So hm, what's up with my best friend anyway?? 

I don't even know if we're on speaking terms anymore. *shrugs* Seriously..; last week, she came in town, we went out, and her sister got hammered. Fine, Barbara was a bit drunk herself, pissed off and probably felt wierd having to witness her sister in that state. because, yeeshh, that wasn't pretty. (Well, very funny at first... but not at the end). I waited to ride the elevator with her so she wouldn't be alone and... yeah, she needed to vent I guess. So I was there. i was the bad guy because I didn't help carrying her sister. Well, he only has two sides, you know. One guy on each, what can i do? I was behind in case she fell (she ended up taking a nose dive, but nothing serious)...
She puked on herslef, and on my boyfriend's couch, who was the gracious host that gave him the keys to his flat for them to stay.

So, yeah... I don't get an appology... whatever... she had other stuff to worry about.

Then, tonight... she comes again, I'm not feeling so much like partying, I'm tired, I say I'm coming, but just so we got out for dinner. If they go dance later, I'm out. She says it's her last week end free, then she'll be working and she won't be able to come. Fine, as if i was going to miss an opportunity to see them.
Turns out, we go to this place, called the American Way. Oh hell it is, man. It's the freaking TEXAN way, dammit. i love this place, the food is awesome but UGH i'm full for a decade and a half!
So, yeah... my stomach hurts a bit. Dude, her father is my stomach doctor, she was there when he told me about the possibility of surgery. And it's my fault if i hurt, uh? I hate too much, so I didn't feel like going to dance more. Nope.
So yeah, maybe she'd hope of getting me worked up to go out with them but the deal was clear. David's on morning shift, he gets up at 6... we aren't going our. So she's giving me the silent treatment for half an hour. Might I mention, she's still staying at David's, and he's with me, so she can have a bed allll to herslef and maybe bring a guy in there... again.
ugh.
So we left, they went out to a bar or something (like we weren't having fun dancing and them drinking in the flat. I like it better because we dance the same, we get to choose the music and it's not too fucking hot which makes me automatically sicker by the second, so yeah... not keen on the bar idea) and David and i went home. She says like 'grand pa and grand ma go home'. Bitch. Seriously. What's her deal nowadays? I'm not her freaking punching bag.
She didn't even ride the elevator with us.
Yes, yes... she's 22 too.

I guess I don't really wanna go see that movie with them tomorrow. This time I want an appology. Or at least an explanation of what the fuck happened to make her pissed at me in 20min tops.

This is what i get when i make sacrifices to my friends.

Won't do the same mistake again;

Yeah so... I'm like moskito bait... I'm a freaking open bar!!

It's always been that way. If you're around me, you won't get bit because it's all for me. I don't know what's in my blood but they like mine better...

so yeah, I've got that lotion thing to fend them off...

and duuuuude, i forgot my toes!

In like ten minutes I've been biten three times ON MY TOES!!

Wicked tiny vamps with wings...

So....

I've got a new computer. And I find myself in need for some guidance.

My new baby's a dream, really. Last night I was like 'Dude, can you hear my computer?' (the last one's fan was SO loud it gave me headaches)
And David when like. "Nope."
"Me neither."
A dream, really.

i still haven't got around to see if I lost anything from my old hard drive though.

But, yeah... not the point of this post.

I went over at my parent's house for almost 24 hours and it went okay until I was about to leave.
Then, in front of my mom, her twin and my cousin, he said something so stupid. one of this 'I know you so well truths' (my ass) of his and i blew a fuse. Honestly? If I hadn't been so shocked by the absurdity or so mad that he did this JUST as i was going in my car, I would have laughed my ass off.
Honest.
He said, completely sure of himself, the exact opposite of the truth. And everyone there knew it.
So we fought, because I swore to myself that even if it makes things worse between us i wouldn't let things go and just nod and take the blows.
So i left.

Here's my confession and my plea for guidance. i'm not the first one with daddy issues and it's terrible how it's just lame but I needed to get this out.
Please, if you're not ready for TMI, don't read. And i hope you won't see me differently after that.
Here's the part of the post that i edited before i posted.

( The Seven Circles of my mind, right here. )

Anyway... anything i might have mentionned here, i'm obviously confortable enough with so if you wanna ask something, i can talk about it. Go ahead. If having more info will help you adivse me, i'll tell you whatever you want.

I'm trying to hold back the mental break down that's threatening me. My computer is dead. Done. Kaput. Over and out.

I'm hoping very strongly that i can salvage my harddrive and get back all the hours of work that are on it. If not.... I might completely give up writing. I'd be done with it. I can't stand that twice. No sir. That's already twice too many. I give up.

So yeah, hiatus. I'll still check my mails and stuff, I'm going to try and find another computer that wouldn't be that expensive. *crosses fingers*

So, is that really what you can call an update when Windows Fucking Update reboots your system while you're taking a bathroom break and you loose a three hours work that you will ever retreive???

I don't think so!

I got  into hacker mode this morning and I hope I stopped that freaking stuff from rebooting by itself. Dammit, I'm the boss and super admi... **ing Vista has to learn not to mess with my writing. Ugh, I'm sio frustrated, I'm going to take a day off that fic.

So, first day in business school. Ze boring day witha great B-O-H !!! Lecture hall, teachers that take two hours to say hi and congratulate themselves.
But, hey... by night it was something else. PARTY !!!!
Well, my freind Zatch isn't going to have a quiet year I guess since she leaves next to the party central (party central before the party, where everyone meets before going)... SO, yeah... good evening... I'm trashed today... but I had time to sleep. And I will sleep tonight. There're parties every nights of this week because we don't ahve any class before next month, but we decided that we would go every two days only.

Well, this is mid august, why should I be angry ? A clue ? There's a huge fire in teh fire place and I'm wearing one of my dad's pullovers. This is supposed to be a fucking summer ! And, what ? 59°F ??! It's raining all day long, hell !! I'm expecting to hear Christmas songs any minute now !!
At least I got a nice rainbow, but I've got a problem with them... I've been scarred to life this summer watching CareBears.... Arrrghhh...
I just hate my life right now !!
OIh, yeah, and somerthing else... I've got money, just now, like it's a fucking miracle, and my sodding credit card won't work to place a shitty small order !!
I just have to go to sleep and find out I left the window open and my bed is soaked or ebing told that I need rectar surgery and my day will be complete.